Traci's Testimonials

It has been said that an elephant never forgets. This past week I have more than proven that I do not belong to the pachyderm family. I have had an incredible week of mishaps all related to a faulty memory with nothing tangible to blame it on. I do not suffer from Alzheimer's Disease nor do I have "pregnancy brain". I haven't sustained any recent head injuries nor do I have Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. I just forgot. It all started Sunday morning. I followed my normal Sunday routine while Hubby is working. I got the kids ready for church, fed them breakfast, got myself ready....the usual. When I got about 10 kilometers up the highway I realized I had forgotten my cell phone at home. I rarely forget my cell and Sunday was a particularly bad day to forget since I was driving home (over an hour away) from church alone after the evening service. But I shrugged it off. I was already late and couldn't turn around to get it. I headed straight for the retireme...

Today left me wondering if I am fit for motherhood at all. It started out as a fairly common day. The usual chores, schoolwork, and childhood bickering were taking place. When I served lunch and sat down to enjoy it with my little ones I noticed Buddy #2's ear looked strange. The canal looked slight darker and more cavernous than usual. Upon closer inspection I realized the hole wasn't wider but rather plugged with a grey mush which turned out to be the kids' recently acquired modeling clay. My little boy had found a foolish yet inventive way of blocking out 'girl noise'. He explained the he was trying to play his game but the "the sisters" kept "annoying" him with their "loudness." Being a firm believer that one should never stick anything larger than an elbow inside of their ear, I cringed at the thought of getting the goop out. My mind kept going back to 1982 when my sister and I got our first Operation game for Christmas. As a six-...

Last week the world was against me..or so I was convinced. We are a very blessed family concerning health. Being that we homeschool and have never had to make use of daycare, the children have had minimal exposure to severe viruses. This is what I choose to believe and I will thank you not to burst my bubble. I have also managed to maintain relative good health even though I work in the personal support field....up until last week. A rather nasty little critter decided to take up residence in my tummy and damage my track record. Unfortunately, my family doesn't see the need for life to slow down (let alone stop) when Mama gets sick. My uncaring, selfish little monsters actually insisted on eating..EATING (!) while I was suffering from nausea. The audacity!  Of course I started feeling ill right around grocery day so the pilgrimage had to be made, but not before an essential birthday party had to be attended. Hubby was at work so I was flying solo yet again. Ol' Man...

This morning my children awoke looking...unkempt. A mild, but yucky illness has been making its rounds in our house. I decided that the (now) 10 year-old needed a shower immediately followed by a nice soapy bath for the 6 year-old. I was upstairs preparing for the school day while everything progressed swimmingly in the downstairs bathroom . All of a sudden, I heard the murmurs of discontent wafting up the stairs. Soon enough the murmurs turned to disputings and the disputings erupted into the noise of violence that drowned out my feeble attempt to continue with math class as if nothing was happening. I heard a crash, a scream, and the distinct wail of a little girl with a sore throat. Being that this sort of thing happens on an almost daily basis, I tend not to panic so I sent the 7 year-old down to compile a report while I trudged on through negative integers with the 10 year-old. She came back upstairs with the information that sister was attempting to kill brother over a...

Today I made the decision to be productive....no matter what. When choosing what I plan to accomplish throughout the course of a day I base my decision on what's bugging me the most. I could have raccoons rummaging in the garbage bin and spreading week-old waste across my yard but if the dirty dishes in the sink are on my mind, the raccoons can continue their carnage until the dishwasher is full. This morning I needed to clean the fridge. So I shipped Hubby off to work at 6:00 am, donned my haz-mat suit and gas mask and dove in. Having cleaned the fridge and tidying the kitchen by 6:45, I was already feeling very accomplished when Buddies #1 and #2 came into view at the top step. We started school work at 9:00 am sharp and had made it through digit sums and consonant suffixes before the kids even knew what hit 'em! We had a short stall around 11:00 when Buddy #1 asked my what A-R-E spelled.    "It says are ," I off...

I am thankful that if I wasn't there to remind my children that garbage cans and laundry hampers have a purpose, my house would be littered with granola bar wrappers and dirty socks. I am thankful that if I didn't buy broccoli and non-fat yogurt my husband would "survive" on a diet of bacon and cookies. I am thankful that if I wasn't such a light sleeper the dog would have ruined the carpet months ago. I am thankful that if I didn't rescue my children from their father he would have literally tickled them to death. I am thankful that if I didn't pick out the boys' clothes before leaving for work my husband would take them to the store in their pajamas. I am thankful that if I didn't buy the children dress shoes they would go to church in dirty sneakers. I am thankful that my husband can't change the bedsheets to save his life. I am thankful for each one of these things and so much more because... if I know only one thing about my life t...

Last week my husband turned 36. Birthdays have never prompted much merriment for him, he views them as "just another day". I find this sad and wrong. I'm happy my husband was born and I think that's cause to celebrate! He doesn't think much of his birthday and he doesn't like surprises. He doesn't like surprises but he does like presents. I have tried many times to surprise my husband with various presents over the years and it never works. Because of his strong aversion to being surprised he has become quite proficient at guessing. The first year we were together he told me stories about how he would frustrate his mother by shaking plain rectangular boxes under the Christmas tree and precisely deducing what it contained. While attending a local craft show that year I found him the perfect gift. My husband doesn't have "collections" per se, he has obsessions. One of his obsessions is the Datsun Z (a 240 to be exact, but any Z will do). I had ...

We, and when I say  we  I mean I , decided to take a break from the rigors of math and grammar the other day and replace it with some good 'ol manual labour. It was a lovely autumn day and I felt it would be a waste to spend it entirely indoors. I am a firm believer that children should be involved with the maintenance of their home. It teaches responsibility and appreciation for what's been given them.....ah, who am I kidding?! It's free help. The first task I assigned was to pick up anything in the yard that wasn't grass so I could mow the lawn. I thought the broad generalization would keep questions to a minimum. I was wrong. I was asked if the mower would cut everything from freezie wrappers to tennis balls. Once the lawn looked mostly green I backed the riding mower out of the shed. This is one of my husband's prized possessions and he is usually the one to do the mowing. He has recently started a new rotation at work and hasn't the time or energy as o...

Yesterday we celebrated my baby girl's 6th birthday. I decided to give her a party reminiscent of my younger years complete with tacky streamers, multi-coloured balloons, homemade cake with sprinkles, and musical chairs. I understand that this is not the type of celebration common for this era. Children today have more trouble deciding between renting out the zoo or local movie theater for the day than the chocolate vs. vanilla crisis of yesteryear. My little one was thrilled with the party's simplicity. She waited with anticipation at the door for each guest to arrive eyeing the size and shape of each package under their arms. She had decided to invite not only her friends but also some of the older girls' friends so they wouldn't have to "hang out" with six-year-olds. She's so thoughtful.   When the guests of all ages had arrived, we began with a rousing game of Hot Potato. Out of the eight girls present only three had ever played before. I found that ...

Today was a frustrating day. I have a few of those every now and then. They usually happen in cycles... around every 24 hours. It was raining today and I love rainy days because I don't have to worry about children's minds wandering from their school work to the plethora of activities awaiting them in the sunshine. We started promptly at 9 and moved seamlessly through math and language arts until our break at 10:30. I have learned that one should not stop while on a roll however my children vehemently disagree. The 9 year-old has taken to watching the clock very closely during the late morning. She looks like a thoroughbred at the starting gate. When the minute hand makes that final move onto the six, it's like she hears a starting pistol inaudible to most human ears. The break is good in theory. It allows us to breathe and regroup. I enjoy the stopping part of it. It's the getting back at it that kills me. I have a few kids that are studious and co-operative. When I...

Sunday is my favorite day of the week. Usually. This past Sunday morning started with a bang. Saturday night we decided on having a family movie night and invited the Pevensey children, Aslan and the White Witch to regale us with tales from Narnia. The boys fell asleep before Beaver accused his wife of being a sub par chef so when the movie ended we just threw blankets over them and left them where they were. By 6 a.m. I had been lying awake in bed for hours due to a disturbing dream but I was determined to stay put until the alarm sounded. Just as I was starting to drift I heard the BANG that started my day....and you thought I was just being coy. One of the Buddies had rolled of the recliner he'd fallen asleep on. Most children would cry and run to Mama after such a rude awakening. Not my boy. No, he decided it was fun and tried several times to recreate the accident. When my eyelids refused to close I reluctantly dragged my resisting body from the warm...

Wednesday is Library Day in our house. My children love the library and we are blessed to have one within walking distance from our home. Then again, everything in our town is within walking distance from our home. We have been frequenting it once weekly ever since the 5 year-old was born. Mrs. Donna, the librarian, is excellent with the kids and so supportive of our homeschooling that it makes visiting a real joy. I have taken to letting the 3 girls go without me to pick their books and movies and so far it's been a smashing success. I love seeing what they choose for themselves, it gives me a glimpse into what truly interests them and that's exciting for me! However, I wasn't expecting one thing my eldest decided to return with this week. As the girls headed out the door I reminded them to use discretion in their choices and to get the boys some good bedtime material. They always take a cell phone when they go and call me repeatedly to ask if this book is ok or i...

After the 9 year-old's finger mishap we decided that the kid should take a little break from the recreation scene. A few days ago we lifted the ban and allowed them to visit the brand new park across the street. I've never been a big fan of neighborhood parks. They are fraught with danger! Dangling from the monkey bars is a broken leg waiting to happen! The discarded candy that's still partially wrapped is too tempting not to pick up! The merry-go-round goes 'round way too merrily and usually draws blood at some point. But much more scary than any of these is the presence of other children. Now, I love kids! I think I've proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt. They don't even have to belong to me for me to love them. Kids are great! If nothing else, they are a constant source of comedic entertainment. But there are those few kids who are not entertaining. Those few who ruin every one's fun. My daughters ran into these kids this past week. First, you must und...

I found this a while back and felt it appropriate to post today.............. 1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is - and it is - it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it? 2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts. 3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to...

This past weekend I was single parenting temporarily since my husband had been invited to attend a golf "thing". The idea of getting together with my mom had been tossed around and at the last minute she decided to make the two hour trek north. I was glad that I didn't have to drag 5 children and a dog down to the 'rents for an overnight stay. That translates into about 3 suitcases worth of stuff . Instead Gramma packed up her reusable grocery bag and the "granddog". She is watching my canine niece while my sister vacations in Florida and we're stuck in 12C temperatures. But we're not bitter. Sadie is a Dane/Shepherd lap dog that slightly resembles Yoda with extraordinarily long legs. She is sweet but I'm quite sure she thinks she's a Jack Russell. The visit was lovely. The kids enjoyed having Gramma for a sleepover. Oh, how I wish I could end this post right there. Before mom left the 9 year-old said her good-byes and trotted off to play a...

I have been reprimanded in recent days for allowing my blog to idle. Believe it or not, I can become busy from time to time. I apologize. I didn't know there was any sort of vested interest in my ramblings but I'm delighted there is! Yesterday started out as any normal sort. I was up before dawn packing Hubby's lunch. Looking forward to what lay ahead; lingering over coffee and conversation with Ryan until 6, Bible reading and prayer, then my morning chores until the kitchen is invaded by bleary-eyed, zombie-like children muttering something about Frosted Flakes. Had I known what kind of day it would turn out to be I would have let my husband starve, skipped my daily dose of bean juice, let the animals outside to hunt and gather for themselves the way God intended, and crawled back under the covers. It was grocery day, like going to Disney but FUNNER! Ugh. I always like to clean up before we leave for a few reasons. First, so I don't walk right back in to a chaos to mak...

I am not a good multitasker. I know the lifestyle of homeschooling 5 kids might suggest otherwise but take my word for it. I am a decent organizer, not too bad with time management, but multitasker....no. Today, I decided to get a head start on September's church bulletin and was basking in my unusual lack of procrastination when my 9 year-old decided she was bored and wanted to bake a cake. Since I was completely focused on the task at hand I dismissed her with a wave and a nod of (what she thought was) approval. I know I heard her searching for the ingredients. I'm quite positive I told her which mixing bowl to use. I'm sure she informed me she was going to use the electric mixer. I just don't remember being mentally invested in the exchange. I was torn away from my (important) work the first time due to some uncertainty surrounding the smell coming from the preheating oven. I assured the (now 3) girls encircling the mixing bowls that it was perfectly normal and not t...

My friend posted a status the other day stating that she had mopped her kitchen floor before breakfast followed by a statement I have used several times--Sometimes I just wake up stupid. Yes, don't we all. "Stupid" is a swear word in this family. When I hear my children running up the stairs shouting "I'm telling mom you said the S word," I know they mean the six letter one. I still firmly stand by my convictions that this is a foul word when it slips through a child's lips. The problem is, I use it. A lot. Never in reference to people mind you....ok, rarely. Well, when I'm driving it simply doesn't count. Those people really are stupid! I have been caught with my potty mouth on several occasions. Don't you hate it when your kids say something awful and you realize they learned it from you? Being that I'm a homeschooling mom I can't even blame unruly classmates. Well, I can, but it just means they got it from me first. Pardon me, the ...

Today I ventured in to the western "civilized" jungle commonly known as the grocery store. Yes, I took all of the children. I say that because whenever I tell my mother I've gone anywhere her first question is always some variant of "Who watched the kids?" But it doesn't always come out that way. It ranges from "You didn't take all those kids did you?" to "What was Ryan doing, why couldn't he watch the kids?" She means well. I know what she's trying to say. She just couldn't picture herself grocery shopping with 5 children under the age of ten. (Nobody who knows her could picture that either.) ;) My first stop was Weston's bakery aka the cheap bread place. It's a small store that never has more than 2 customers at a time so it never takes more that a minute to make a purchase. I decided to take one kid in to help me carry the bags. I read the other four the riot act, "I'm locking the doors. Don't open...

Ok, so since I quit my contract and went back into homemaker mode I've been a bit of a cleaning nazi. I admit it. For the past week I could have been mistaken for a Season 3 Kate Gosselin (no offense intended, Kate). I've been mopping, dusting, spraying, and washing like my house was about to be declared a bio-hazard. I've been chasing kids with facecloths as if the Popsicle they just let melt all over their hands was made of acid that would eat through any fabric furniture within seconds of touching it. I have become exactly the type person I have egregiously made fun of. And I'm okay with that. I am running around the house whistling while I work. I am in my happy place . I am half-heartedly listening for bickering and/or crying so I can intervene before someone gets really hurt. I have set the 3 little ones loose with Play Dough on the back porch and the 2 big girls are engrossed with Webkins trivia games while I tackle the laundry mountain in my room before the...

A few of my friends have asked me why I don't blog. I have two equally true answers. The acceptable answer is: I don't have time. The unacceptable answer is: I have no idea what I'm doing. Number 1 is no longer true at this moment now that I'm back home full time and school has not started yet. Number 2 is still true. I have no doubt you would come to that conclusion on your own after parusing my posts for a short time. This, I promise you, will be the most drab looking blog you have ever seen. Unless someone takes pity on me and teaches me how to make it pretty. But I digress...... After one (long) year of working full time I am finally back......working full time. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the past year being back at my youth's chosen profession. I thoroughly enjoyed being able to leave the house and do...exactly...the same things I do at home for people who aren't my family. I did. With vigor. I took great pleasure applying my makeup and l...