Shore Excruciating
Today I ventured in to the western "civilized" jungle commonly known as the grocery store. Yes, I took all of the children. I say that because whenever I tell my mother I've gone anywhere her first question is always some variant of "Who watched the kids?" But it doesn't always come out that way. It ranges from "You didn't take all those kids did you?" to "What was Ryan doing, why couldn't he watch the kids?" She means well. I know what she's trying to say. She just couldn't picture herself grocery shopping with 5 children under the age of ten. (Nobody who knows her could picture that either.) ;)
My first stop was Weston's bakery aka the cheap bread place. It's a small store that never has more than 2 customers at a time so it never takes more that a minute to make a purchase. I decided to take one kid in to help me carry the bags. I read the other four the riot act, "I'm locking the doors. Don't open them for anyone but me. Blah, blah, blah." When I emerged from the store 45 seconds later I see four little feet scrambling to jump back in the van. I didn't even have to verbalize my question. My 9 year-old rapidly explains that one of the twins had to pee and before she could grab him he unlocked the doors and clamoured on to the grassy knoll. "But don't worry, Mom, I caught him before he pulled his pants down."
Oh, good.
I blame his lack of couth on the numerous camping trips we've taken this year and the consistent prompts for him to "pee in the bush" on our hikes.
On to Costco. This venture actually went quite smoothly considering I was able to avoid all the sample aisles. I saw a lady setting up a table with jarred bean salad and made a bee line for the checkout. That's the thing about Costco. Your kids always want to sample the food to couldn't pay them to eat at home.
My final stop was the Superstore where I managed to get half of what was on my list and pay twice as much as I wanted to. *Cue over exaggerated grin with gritted teeth.
I am a pretty focused shopper, calculating in my head and rounding up to the nearest $1.50 to compensate for our Canada Day birthday present, the HST. *grrrr* I barely hear the whiny requests for the overpriced, sugar-laden cereal that's their favorite. They've never tried it. Of course the cart that was ever so conveniently left in the parking lot right beside my van for me to grab had a broken wheel which was unnoticeable until 2 four-year-olds and $150 worth of groceries were piled in it. By the time I make it to the produce aisle I have the 9 year-old pushing, the 7 year-old pulling, and me steering. We finally rolled to a stop about 4 feet from the aisle I wanted to stop at where a lovely lady is picking through the oranges. She stared at me with wide eyes and told me she won't even shop with her 12 year-old twins. Then she said "You're brave!" I smiled sweetly as I always do but what I really wanted to say was "It's not bravery, it's optionlessness."
My first stop was Weston's bakery aka the cheap bread place. It's a small store that never has more than 2 customers at a time so it never takes more that a minute to make a purchase. I decided to take one kid in to help me carry the bags. I read the other four the riot act, "I'm locking the doors. Don't open them for anyone but me. Blah, blah, blah." When I emerged from the store 45 seconds later I see four little feet scrambling to jump back in the van. I didn't even have to verbalize my question. My 9 year-old rapidly explains that one of the twins had to pee and before she could grab him he unlocked the doors and clamoured on to the grassy knoll. "But don't worry, Mom, I caught him before he pulled his pants down."
Oh, good.
I blame his lack of couth on the numerous camping trips we've taken this year and the consistent prompts for him to "pee in the bush" on our hikes.
On to Costco. This venture actually went quite smoothly considering I was able to avoid all the sample aisles. I saw a lady setting up a table with jarred bean salad and made a bee line for the checkout. That's the thing about Costco. Your kids always want to sample the food to couldn't pay them to eat at home.
My final stop was the Superstore where I managed to get half of what was on my list and pay twice as much as I wanted to. *Cue over exaggerated grin with gritted teeth.
I am a pretty focused shopper, calculating in my head and rounding up to the nearest $1.50 to compensate for our Canada Day birthday present, the HST. *grrrr* I barely hear the whiny requests for the overpriced, sugar-laden cereal that's their favorite. They've never tried it. Of course the cart that was ever so conveniently left in the parking lot right beside my van for me to grab had a broken wheel which was unnoticeable until 2 four-year-olds and $150 worth of groceries were piled in it. By the time I make it to the produce aisle I have the 9 year-old pushing, the 7 year-old pulling, and me steering. We finally rolled to a stop about 4 feet from the aisle I wanted to stop at where a lovely lady is picking through the oranges. She stared at me with wide eyes and told me she won't even shop with her 12 year-old twins. Then she said "You're brave!" I smiled sweetly as I always do but what I really wanted to say was "It's not bravery, it's optionlessness."
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