Skip to main content

Pain and Print: A Mother's Response to Unbalanced Journalism

 

How often do you recall your worst experience? Is it something that creeps up on you at random times without prompting? Is it triggered by a scent, a word, or a picture? Do you dream about it? What is the catalyst that causes you to recall that which you would rather not? For me, it is an article from a local newspaper that keeps floating to the surface of my attention when I thought I had drowned it sufficiently. Paper may easily be destroyed, but the memory of what is written on its pages is not. Even more so when the composition is a patchwork quilt of testimonials, culturally relevant thought terminating cliches, and seemingly victorious outcome knit together with strong thread of bias.

We take particular care in crime stories to ensure reporting does not perpetuate stereotypes, remove the presumption of innocence or pose harm to the vulnerable.”

https://caj.ca/wp-content/uploads/Ethics-Guidelines-v2023.pdf

I first stumbled upon this article several months after it had been published. The physiological effects of my fury emerged in the form of flushed cheeks and shaking hands after reading only the heading. The subheading elicited a verbal response I will not document. I wanted to respond immediately and, quite honestly, inappropriately. Remembering what I have always tried to instill in my children, “cool heads prevail,” I set the article aside and attempted to once again drown the memory that it had hooked and reeled.

Yesterday, the article and the memory came up for air. Found by the very person to which it could do the most damage. You see, while I consider it to be my worst memory, it is only a vicarious one. She lived it.

The COVID-19  era was not easy on anyone; its impact was undeniable. It seemed like the entire world was fighting; some for their lives, some for their freedoms, some for their sanity. Members of my family, at times, fought for all three. While all citizens were supposed to be isolated to a degree, one of my daughters was isolated with her abuser. Hers followed the same pattern so many domestic abuse stories do, but a worldwide pandemic provided the barrier between the abused and her loved ones that usually requires some extra effort under normal circumstances. While I was worried about things that seem frivolous in retrospect, she was worried about the next incident from which she would have to hide or heal.

When she finally and frantically revealed to me the atrocities she had endured, I started to piece together the clues I had missed as every other mother of a battered child does. I drove her directly to the police station. With support from us, the guidance of a trusted mentor, and her own inner strength, she submitted her report and an overwhelming (to me) amount of evidence she had collected.

As court proceedings usually do, time lapsed and just as the dust would start to settle, another appointment was made. She grew weary of it all, being forced to relive the experience from which she was desperately trying to move on. Sides were heard, bargains were made, sentencing was pronounced, and a restraining order was implemented. We thought it was over – as over as anything like this could be.

Then, the article appeared.

I considered writing a letter to the editor. Letters to the editor are usually limited to two hundred words or so. I did not feel two hundred words were enough to convey my thoughts on the matter. I even asked CoPilot for some help composing it – it was good, but still not enough.

The article published in The Sudbury Star titled "Sudbury man got help after violent outbursts directed at former girlfriend" by Harold Carmichael overwhelmingly focuses on the abuser’s mental health diagnosis and his steps to seek help. While information detailing some of the assaults presented in court testimony is reiterated in the article in almost clinical language, mention of the perpetrator’s struggles are outlined in a way that risks eliciting sympathy for him while minimizing the severity of his actions and the impact of them on my daughter.

I believe mental health is a key factor in understanding human behavior to determine the best course of action for retribution, treatment, and rehabilitation, but it should never overshadow the impact of abuse on the victim. Carmichael's article is not balanced journalism. It is a narrative that reinforces the silence surrounding domestic abuse, especially in teenage relationships, where victims can often be dismissed or overlooked.

Balanced reporting must include the perspectives of victims, the realities of their trauma, and the broader societal implications of abuse. Only then can we begin to foster a culture that truly supports healing for all involved.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Minding My "q's and p's"

I think the single thing I love the most about homeschooling is the flexibility it affords. Doctors appointments and little trips are never a problem to schedule. Snow days are non-existent but Too Nice To Stay Inside days abound. Field trips to our local science centre usually result in one-on-one time with the staff since we are often the only ones there. We recognize our flexibility as a luxury we are thankful for. I am not, by nature, a flexible person. I like routines. I like structure. I like things to be done my way, at my pace, in my time. I am self-centered and stubborn....but at least I'm honest! I taught my two older daughters exactly the same way. While they each excelled in different areas, they both learned. I was happy to say I had "normal" children. Not brilliant, not gifted, but wonderfully, happily, beautifully average. The eldest loved math but was not particularly keen on learning how to diagram a sentence. The younger loved ...

Small, Simple, Crazy Things

One thing I have always been able to do is see the humour in almost every situation. Not necessarily right away but eventually the hilarity dawns on me. Today, I even chuckle at the time Hubby and I found poo on the living room ceiling. I wasn't really laughing then but I do now. Every day there is something to laugh about; small, simple, crazy things to laugh about. It makes me feel better. God said it would.   A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.... Proverbs 17:22a  When I was a child I was the same. I always found something to laugh about. Especially when I was bored. When I was bored my creativity flourished. Like the time I was riding in the backseat of my mother's car on a long drive. We had stopped at a fast food place for milkshakes and Mom was listening to elevator music on the radio as usual. I attached the straws to the arms of my glasses and told Mom I was picking up HBO. If we had gotten into an accident that day it would have totally been my fault. She...